This Lesson from My Father Taught Me to Manage Self-Doubt and the Mental “What If” Game

We’ve all been there: you’ve finished a task, you’ve double-checked the work, and then out of nowhere, that nagging voice creeps in. “Is this actually right? Did I miss something? Maybe I should start over.”

I recently had one of those days. Technical difficulties were throwing a "spoke in the wheel" of my podcast recordings, and I found myself forced into doing something I hadn’t fully prepared for: an unscripted episode.

As I sat there, battling the urge to judge my lighting, my hair, and my lack of a script, I was reminded of a lesson my late father taught me years ago, growing up here in Barbados. It’s a lesson about the "erasure marks" we leave on our lives when we second-guess our first instincts.

The Saturday Lessons

My dad was a teacher, an incredible one. Although he loved math and numbers, his true gift was guiding his students (and his daughters). When I was preparing for the Common Entrance exam (that pivotal test for every student in Barbados transitioning to secondary school), I would attend his Saturday lessons.

I remember sitting over a math problem, working through the logic, and reaching an answer. But then, the doubt would hit. I’d grab my eraser, rub out my work, and try a different path.

When my dad reviewed my work, he didn’t just look at the final answer. He looked at the smudges.

The Simple Advice to Manage Self-Doubt

He would see all those erasures and say to me: "Don't doubt yourself."

Most of the time, I had been right the first time. The original logic was sound; it was only the fear of being wrong that led me astray.

As I’ve grown older, and especially as I navigate the ups and downs of entrepreneurship, I’ve realised that self-doubt is often just "life happening." It’s a pothole in the road, not a sign that the road has ended.

Most of the time, I had been right the first time.

Moving Past the "Erasure Marks" of Adulthood

In business, we do this all the time. We second-guess a programme we’ve launched, a guest we want to interview, or a strategic pivot we know in our gut is right. We start "erasing" our progress because things got a little rough, or technical issues got in the way.

But here is what I’ve learned:

• Your first instinct is often your best. It’s built on years of experience and "muscle memory."

• Self-doubt is a feeling, not a fact. Just because you feel uncertain doesn't mean your work is invalid.

• The "smudges" are part of the process. Don't let the fear of a non-perfect "script" stop you from sharing your voice.

  
  

Keeping the Momentum

Whether you are preparing for a big exam, running a business, or just trying to get a podcast episode recorded despite the "spokes in the wheel," remember my dad’s advice.

You don’t need to be perfect to be right. To manage self-doubt, you just need to keep going. Put down the eraser, trust your preparation, and move forward.

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A Note from Dianne: This post was inspired by a recent unscripted episode of the Island Woman Podcast, where I shared 5 keys to keeping the momentum when life gets technical. You can listen to the full story and the other four strategies here.